10 tips for shoe-throwing

This is with regard to the shoe-throwing incident involving a journalist (the accused) and a senior minister ( the victim). It is not as simple as it seems, to throw a shoe at a politician you hate (Question: Are there any politicians you don't hate?). You need to prepare early in life. But here are some tips, not necessarily in order of importance.

Practice for some days before undertaking your mission, preferably with your wife's/girlfriend's shoe.

2) Sit as close as possible to the target on the day of the incident.

3) Keep a spare shoe, in case the first misses the target (anyway we all wear two shoes).

4) Exercise for at least a month before D-Day. You need to look perfectly fit. No one likes a clumsy shoe-thrower.

5) Ensure the shoes you are wearing (and intend to throw) are not with laces. You cannot be struggling at the last minute trying to unlace your shoes.

6) Train early in life to be a journalist, preferably a political reporter, so that you can attend press conferences addressed by politicians.

7) Polish your shoes well before the attack. So, if your shoe misses the target, the politician could at least pass out with the strong smell of polish mixed with the stink of the streets.

8) Have a hearty meal a short time before the incident. You can never tell how many hours you will be detained in a stinking prison cell, and whether you will be sentenced to death later.

9) Don't tell the world about your plan. Keep it top secret.

10) Most important: Select a proper, old shoe, preferably a woman's high-heeled shoe. Remember, the purpose is to cause maximum damage.

11) Hey, did I not say 10 tips? Well, you may not like one of them, so here's the final one. Aim a little below the head, as your target will duck.

Happy Shoe Throwing